Just realized that in the past, the only time I post on here is when I'm depressed. I think it's kinda funny.
Well I'm feeling good today, just got a new job, less financial burdens weighing me down. And I'm thinking I need to start posting on here more often, not just when I'm moody.
Anyway, it's late now, and I have a lot to do. I start work at 8:30 tomorrow, which means I have to catch my train at 6:05 a.m.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I gotta get my life together.
Read someone else's blog tonight that got me in the mood to vent. So now I rant...
I'm 22 in my 5th (AND FINAL,finally) year of college. Realizing that I don't really like my major, don't know what I'm gonna do with it afterwards. Sharing rent with my mother.
I got a guy that I keep telling myself I'm done with, yet I'm lonely so every time he calls I forget that I'm not supposed to be with him anymore. He's a loser, 28, in and out of jail for VERY DUMB stuff. Has an 8 year old daughter that he hardly sees even though she lives in the next town. He doesn't work, so I find myself spending the little bit of money I have on him. He's always smoking weed (I DON'T) and drinking.
I think my bodies maturing faster than my brain because I keep seeing babies, and all of a sudden they are soooo much cuter than they used to be, and I see myself with kids. Of course when I come back to Earth I remember, "Oh yeah, I really don't want a kid. I don't have the maturity, the patience, the money, the stability."
To me getting my life together would entail:
-get a good paying job
-get a place (either my own or with a roommate that is NOT A FAMILY MEMBER)
-and yes, I want a real boyfriend, cuz I need someone I can depend on and I don't have that... haven't had that
--- The ultimate thing I want is to start my life, cuz it feels like everything's on pause and if something doesn't change I'll wake and find myself at 35, still working somewhere I hate, still lonely, still childless, and OMG still living with my mother.
I'm 22 in my 5th (AND FINAL,finally) year of college. Realizing that I don't really like my major, don't know what I'm gonna do with it afterwards. Sharing rent with my mother.
I got a guy that I keep telling myself I'm done with, yet I'm lonely so every time he calls I forget that I'm not supposed to be with him anymore. He's a loser, 28, in and out of jail for VERY DUMB stuff. Has an 8 year old daughter that he hardly sees even though she lives in the next town. He doesn't work, so I find myself spending the little bit of money I have on him. He's always smoking weed (I DON'T) and drinking.
I think my bodies maturing faster than my brain because I keep seeing babies, and all of a sudden they are soooo much cuter than they used to be, and I see myself with kids. Of course when I come back to Earth I remember, "Oh yeah, I really don't want a kid. I don't have the maturity, the patience, the money, the stability."
To me getting my life together would entail:
-get a good paying job
-get a place (either my own or with a roommate that is NOT A FAMILY MEMBER)
-and yes, I want a real boyfriend, cuz I need someone I can depend on and I don't have that... haven't had that
--- The ultimate thing I want is to start my life, cuz it feels like everything's on pause and if something doesn't change I'll wake and find myself at 35, still working somewhere I hate, still lonely, still childless, and OMG still living with my mother.
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