I gotta get my life together.

Read someone else's blog tonight that got me in the mood to vent. So now I rant...

I'm 22 in my 5th (AND FINAL,finally) year of college. Realizing that I don't really like my major, don't know what I'm gonna do with it afterwards. Sharing rent with my mother.

I got a guy that I keep telling myself I'm done with, yet I'm lonely so every time he calls I forget that I'm not supposed to be with him anymore. He's a loser, 28, in and out of jail for VERY DUMB stuff. Has an 8 year old daughter that he hardly sees even though she lives in the next town. He doesn't work, so I find myself spending the little bit of money I have on him. He's always smoking weed (I DON'T) and drinking.

I think my bodies maturing faster than my brain because I keep seeing babies, and all of a sudden they are soooo much cuter than they used to be, and I see myself with kids. Of course when I come back to Earth I remember, "Oh yeah, I really don't want a kid. I don't have the maturity, the patience, the money, the stability."

To me getting my life together would entail:

-get a good paying job
-get a place (either my own or with a roommate that is NOT A FAMILY MEMBER)
-and yes, I want a real boyfriend, cuz I need someone I can depend on and I don't have that... haven't had that

--- The ultimate thing I want is to start my life, cuz it feels like everything's on pause and if something doesn't change I'll wake and find myself at 35, still working somewhere I hate, still lonely, still childless, and OMG still living with my mother.